Trying to be funny

I tell you what frustrates me,
Irritating Hashtags – some with spaces, some without.
Unnecessary VDA, to which I have no doubt.
The Happiness posts that people boast about.
This is just the beginning, read on
Everything they are offended by,
Ignorant yet opinionated.
Share or like otherwise they’ll die,
Seriously? One prayer equals one like?
Butchered English, Funny Hindi
When will they learn to write?
All the ‘mahs’ and the ‘uhs’,
They’ve fucked up the basic rules.
The religious posts,
The political outrage,
Discrimination and hatred,
Mockery on outrages,
Outrage on mockeries,
This is what frustrates me.
Let the philosophers think,
Let the thinkers speak,
Let the scholars write,
You need to read.

Am I clear enough?

Who are we?

The fight doesn’t stop,
The fright doesn’t go away,
Who are we? Soldiers or Tyrants?
We are being dictated names,
Printed on our badges.
Is that our new identity?

I think we are blind,
The colors are too bright.
Orange, orange everywhere,
Green, green everywhere,
Together they form Red.
Isn’t it sad?
Our blindness and our pride together?
Are we doomed, doomed for life?
Who are we? Nationalist or Extremist?

Isn’t it sad, there’s no ONE God?
It must be hard for God to identify himself!
Am I Allah or Krishna or Christ?
Stuck in the everlasting plight.
Who are we? Humans or Castes?

We are dangerous, ignorant creatures.
Like Dodos we follow,
Let’s call dusk morning now!
Dusk is morning! Dusk is morning!
You say Defame! We’ll defame,
You say Kill! We will kill,
You say Praise! Hell, we’ll praise.
I think we’ve turned into parasites.

Who are we?
Children of God?
God deserted his earth long time ago!
We are pitiable creatures,
Ready to eat our own flesh.
I don’t see Orange beneath Orange, do you?
Because when the river flows,
It bleeds Red.

Who are we?
Who are we?
We are nothing.
Insignificant in this vast universe,
On mercy of one smite.



In your face

Sir, I wish to intern in your company.
Okay. Tell me about your work experience?

I don’t have friends. Scrolling down 1000 friends on Facebook.

I am not a racist. Did you see that black girl standing over there?

I want to see the world. Broke.

I love to play the guitar. Oh! My fingers hurt! 

I love Mathematics. I hope, I pass. 

I secured 70 percent in my exams. I think this calculator is not working right!

That guy is so cute. I don’t have a life.

You are my best friend. No. Not really.

I want a job that I love. Jobless.

We are an MNC, we provide excellent job opportunities.
We also recruit idiots.

New year, New me! Shut the fuck up and go to sleep! 

Pun Intended.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!




Poem #3 – Masquerade Reaper

He kept a mirror in his pocket,
They told me, how he was pure evil.
How he could make the prettiest face look ugly,
How he fed on the shallow souls – the kind that
looked divine. Oh, dear God! Never did I anticipate –
The faces behind the faces, the mockery behind the smile.
His mirror reflected all.

People wouldn’t see him in the eye. People – they run away,
They always run away.
They build their walls and they decorate their stage.
I had heard so much about him, I was indeed intrigued to see,
If he could separate reflections from hypocrisy.
People are hypocrites, they keep the blame game on,
Hiding behind the silhouette, all the colors that they don.

Fascinated enough, I went to meet my demise,
To see what I looked like in this Masquerade Reaper’s eyes.
He flashed the mirror and it shined so bright,
My eyes shut, and he walked me through the light.
I opened my eyes, I didn’t like what I’d seen,
The face behind my face, which has always been.
I laughed at my ignorance to think that people change, they grow –
They only learn to hide things that they should not show.

Poem #2- Deathbed

As I live confined to this room, rested on something cozy,
I get the glimpses of dawn turning to dusk.
Sometimes, the raindrops sneak in through the window,
touch me gently and dry out.
I see the clock ticking,
She was afraid of the clocks. I remember, she had once told me.
Perhaps it reminded her of her insignificance-
Of how time passes by and she can’t turn a leaf.
She would sometimes stare at the clock and would sob in fear.
I could never fathom her emotions to be honest.
She used to keep me beside her, all the time, never letting me go;
She would keep me so close to her bosom that I once nearly died.
She would sometimes murmur ” With every flip of pages, characters evolve,
characters die, or meet their happy endings. Then days go by and I prepare
myself to meet a new character. Same place. Different time. ”
I remember, she had held me so close, I could hear her murmurs.
I coughed, I was suffocated and that gave her jitters,
She for once, unleashed me.
I for once, breathed free.
And two seasons passed, I was in the air.
Then she called me back. She told me, she had lost hopes.
I was there, pinned to her pocket. Leashed again.
I asked the reason for her pain,
She wouldn’t say a word.
She and I lived there, in silence, in monotony.
She kept flipping pages, sobbing at nights,
Fearing the time.
I stayed pinned to her heart and mind.
And one day I saw her lifeless in bed.
I saw the rush and the havoc, silently I cried in her demise.
I heard the whispering, “heard she committed suicide!”
Nobody saw me, they never knew me, so they threw me aside.
As I saw her being taken out of the room,
It wasn’t hers, I realized.
No, it was my deathbed. Mine. Just mine.
As I live, confined to this room,
unpinned from her. I just look at myself as an unfulfilled dream,
She never let me go, she never tried.
And with her, I (her dream) died.

Does the British really owe us?

When Shashi Tharoor expressed his views on the motion –This house believes Britain owes reparations to her former colonies, I must say, I was stirred and highly impressed. He said everything to the point and with great eloquence. The debate made a fine impression, a just impression if we look at it emotionally; but is it rationally right?
Yes, our countrymen suffered- They suffered the atrocities of the British Empire, the damage done to them physically, emotionally and psychologically can never be repaired. But do we really have the right to just go up to them after 68 years of Independence and say, ” Hey! You know what? You owe us.” I mean for what? Why do they owe us for anything that their ancestors did?  How do we get that reparation, when we were not the ones to suffer?
They ruled us because they could. It is NOT morally right, but that does not give us the benefit of being the victim, because we are not. We took THIS long to get our freedom back, because we were NOT united. We never have been. The India that we speak of today, has never been a one nation. It has always been about castes and religions and grudges. Weren’t we always slaves? The Mughal invaded us. Alexander invaded us. Then there were more. And what did the Kings from different states do? They fought with the other states. They made British their allies to defeat their Indian contemporaries.
Come on! We were not united! British ruled us because of this fact. Does “Divide and Rule Policy” ring a bell?
What was right about India anyway, before the British rule? Riches? The Kings had the wealth. The poor were always poor. They were always slaves and there were always kings who exploited their kingdom. What are you going to do? Find the descendants of those kings and ask them for reparations?
Not to mention the condition of women in India then. I believe there were social reform movements AFTER the British set its foot in the country. They improved the condition of women. We must not forget those poor decisions that our leaders made that led to further tragedies in the country.
Mr. Tharoor said, ” A mere “SORRY” would suffice.”. What will it change?
Bhagat Singh died with the hope that after his death the country would be united. What happened instead?
Emotionally, Mr. Tharoor makes sense. Logically, he doesn’t.
I don’t say, what British did, was right. But asking for compensation isn’t right either.
The hatchet has been buried. Why dig old graves when there are skeletons in our closet too?

I think, we need to develop on our own and then slap them in their face.

Well, this is my opinion on it. What’s yours?


One of my favorite quotes from the speech, Dr. Shashi Tharoor made:

No wonder that sun never set on the British Empire, because even God couldn’t trust the English in the dark.


Mr. Tharoor would have nailed it if he had said, “You owe us Billions, but even an acknowledgement of the fact in the form of an apology would suffice. But you know what, We don’t need it. No apology, no reparation. Not today, not tomorrow.”